Today I went to a tech fair where Jon "maddog" Hall spoke, and dammit, I was listening to some Microsoft goon at the time. I didn't realize anything was up until later that afternoon. I did get to meet roblimo, though, so chalk that up among my brushes with fame. But the fun part of the day was getting there without using my car -- voluntarily. I took my bike to the park and ride lot, then rode the 22X downtown, caught the 200X across the bay, and then picked up the PSTA Route 60 to take me to within a few blocks of the meeting. Did the same thing in reverse this afternoon. Result: a trip of over 65 miles for only $5.50, or less than a third of what TBLC would have had to reimburse me if I'd driven there. And I got to read some good books along the way -- most of Coercion on the way there, then most of Clearwater Public's copy of Shadow of the Hegemon on the way back. Great, great stuff on both counts. Check my bookblog for more details. I came up with a theory on why Microsoft is calling their new product line "xp". It's the old subliminal "sex" business: "Office xp" is really "Office sex p". Ditto "Windows sex p". And if you're wondering what the "p" has to do with anything, just think about how good it feels to cut loose after a long drive. I'm not (only) being crude here -- it's a pleasure we're not usually free to think about, so it remains ripe for the power of suggestion. I dunno, maybe that's just bullshit, but you can't say "Office xp" without saying sex. Now look at the EULA and tell me who's getting screwed.

Whew! What an adventure I had this afternoon. The garage called to tell me that my car was ready -- just as the bus went past my office park. The last bus, I might add, that would get me there before the garage closed at 5:30pm. So I called back to say I'd be there in the morning. I took the bus home, disappointed to not have my car, and realized to my utter dismay that my keys (ALL of my keys) were at the garage... which was about to close! Thank heavens I had the cell phone that my co-workers and I carry on alternating weeks. I managed to reach the garage by phone so they could leave my house key in a hidden place. Then I realized that, while I could get to the garage in an hour and a half (inconveniently timed buses), I wouldn't be able to catch the bus back home. I'd be stranded at the NetPark hub. It occurred to me that catching a taxi there and back would be less expensive than breaking into my own home (which I could do with one pane, but how easy would that be to repair?), so I called directory assistance and got through to a cab company. The cab never showed. I called back (remembering the phone number through some amazing bit of luck) and was told to wait another 15 minutes while they tried again to dispatch a cab. Meanwhile, my neighbor offered me a ride. Bless her! I finally got home, tired (as you can guess from my previous entries) and grateful to be back. That I will feel significantly less grateful as I cough up 800 hairballs for the garage's cashier in the morning should in no way be seen as diminishing my current gratitude. Fate's lagniappe^[?] was a note from a friend of a woman who, if I'm very lucky, will move to within dating range in a few months. (I've tried the long-distance thing. Good intentions, sadly, do not always suffice over a hundred miles or more.) Getting home made me stop pouting. Hearing from her, indirectly, made me start smiling.

Peter Kaminski came up with a great link explaining centrifugal force and gravity. The formulæ on that page should help me figure out what speed would be necessary to cancel approximately half of gravity. As Pete says, "it wouldn't be easy or pretty". He also notes that the planet would likely become even wider along the equator, and that people far north or south would be pulled outward parallel to the plane of the equator. In other words, only at the equator would the half-gee effect really work. Elsewhere, the centrifugal half-gee wouldn't be pulling straight up! My car has been repaired for the third time this month. This time it cost me about $800. Dammit, I like this car, but it feels like a money pit...

Awoke earlier than planned with an interesting problem in physics, which could become a sci-fi story called "Dervish":

• What gives the Earth its spin? Is there any reason why a body placed in orbit around a star must necessarily have, or acquire, spin?
• What effect does the Earth's rotation have on the perceived strength of gravity?

Assume that an arbitrarily rich client had purchased the Earth and wished to impart enough spin that it would feel as if gravity was about half of what we currently experience.

• What would be a plausible way to impart that much spin?
• If we stipulate that energy can be obtained by a reasonably efficient reaction converting mass into energy, how much mass would need to be converted into energy in order to impart this much spin?
• How long would it take to do so? (How much power is available?)
• How long would a day then be?
• What would happen with the magnetic field? Would an interesting current be induced by the spin? Alternately, could an EM effect be used to impart the spin, or would the magnetic materials simply come free and begin moving around the planet?
• How much of the atmosphere would spin off?
• The difference between gravity and spin would be different at different heights, right? Would there be uncomfortable shear at sea level?

Punchline:

• How much of the Earth's surface would be covered by rising magma no longer held down by one gee, and therefore unusable by the upset client?

If only I could talk to the client, the engineer thought, I could make some sense out of this project. But as Sales had snippily reminded her, she was not being paid to make sense. She was being paid to move mountains -- and the rest of the Earth along with them. She didn't even know who the client was. Oh, she could guess. There were only a few hundred interests rich enough to afford a project like this, and only a few of them were the type to buy the Earth and spin it...

Friday night I was tempted to fly down to Miami to visit my uncle, who's in town, and the rest of my family. Maybe I should have. Saturday I watched The Matrix, Office Space and Desk Set with Jon, who had never seen any of those movies. Yesterday I drove to the east coast for a gathering of my geek tribe. The hosts have a Pac-Man Plus game (not working) and an Asteroids Deluxe game (working) in their entertainment room. I heard from a Hialeah native that the term señorita is now used only for young girls; teenagers are more commonly called señora, married or otherwise. Apparently señorita is reserved for virgins, and it is now common and polite to use the term señora for teenagers. (I didn't ask, but I'm guessing the boundary is actually her 15th birthday; a quinceañera probably starts getting called señora.) This morning I drove most of the way back. My car's engine threw a hissy fit (well, a noisy-and-smoky fit, anyway) about $60 out of town. Good thing AAA dispatched a local driver quickly... I didn't feel entirely safe in a part of State Road 60 where the gas station doesn't have an ATM. Based on the location of the smoke (near the main belt, probably underneath it) and the symptoms (a sudden grinding noise, which made the engine rev down to about 500rpm, then repeated after it had gotten back to about 1500), the tow driver guesses it could be the alternator or the water pump. I dunno... but I'll find out in the morning. This is the third time this month I've had to bring the car in. Last time it was the transmission, the time before that I think it was the A/C. Man, I'm glad I have bus service.